Haggles and Haggles of Geese

College kids soooo still need their parents! I’ve actually returned to the land of the living after a short week and a half recess due to sickness (Comparable to a year and a half). I must admit that the catacombs have a seductive lure to them….veiling death itself in comfortable shrouds of Nyquil, Tylenol, fevers, the chills, steaming showers, hot tea, nasal drainage, and the subsequent blissful slumber. Furthermore, I have perfected the sought after instinct, commonly referenced as “Nocturnal Wheezing” and the “Toss and Turn.” This particular combination is extremely effective and will consistently leave all bed drapery twisted into hopeless knots by the first signs of dawn. The sick mans prayer is that he will never need to leave his bed quickly during such intimate relations with his drapery. After extracting myself with much effort this morning, I wanted to get as far from my drapery as possible, so I hopped over to the local coffee shop this afternoon to do some school work. Unfortunately, there are several haggles of college kids here who don’t even know the definition of “Corner Coffee Shop.” It sounds like a flock of Canada Geese in here at best….and the most disconcerting of all, is the fact that I’m no where even close to Canada. Presently I’m attempting to recall which way geese migrate in the spring, and if migration is attributed to native instinct or simply a taught concept that involves a mother goose.
So this is what our educational system is producing? The haggles of geese are flocking out of our educational system, and sadly they may as well migrate to South America and Mexico along with the Monarch Butterflies. The only complication is that Mexico WANTS the monarch butterflies. Right now I’m looking at these kids wondering which one is in medical school? Which one will perform my lobotomy when I need one...I’m now breaking out in a cold sweat! That doctor who is attempting a triple bypass on your grandfather…well lets hope he actually knows something about cardiovascular systems, and didn’t simply CLEP his way through medical school.
What is my 8th grader (or his parents) looking for this year? Well….he’s looking for a good report card. What are our high school graduates looking for? Well…they hope they have a good transcript to show the academics advisor at the local college or their future employer. What do our college kids want? Well…they want a degree. A successful student will get what he wants. I wonder…may I redefine success? Oh….goodness…..who has time for such foolishness? Not me….I need to go pull some grades together for report cards.