Its an interesting feeling to begin writing a post that you know some will most certainly react to. The feeling gets even more interesting when you realize you know basically nothing about the subject at hand...parenting.
I would like to share a few thoughts on parenting from a very different perspective that I don't think is often heard by parents.
I was recently thinking about what it must be like to choose a wife. Now if you're a girl that knows me and is grossed out...just go ahead and quit being grossed out because you can be sure I wasn't thinking of you...I was thinking in VERY general, theological, and unromantic terms. If you still have a problem with this, you might consider taking a good piece of 80 grit sandpaper to the protective covering of your eye balls so you can't read the rest of this post.
A gift that our Mennonite traditions gives to us suddenly became clear to me recently. Young men and women in my tradition can basically choose a partner with a fair level of confidence that their partner has experienced some good ol' "tough parenting" along the line somewhere. Most of us have had a number of good "hide tannings" in our past that taught us something about sharing, selfishness, pride, deceit, sacrifice, our own anger, and all the other things that end up having a lot to do with marriage relationships.
In recent days there has been a reaction to "tough parenting," but I find a lot of comfort and freedom in knowing that most of my friends have experienced some of it. Young parents...listen to this! As afraid as I may be of marriage, I would be significantly more afraid of it if I had no confidence that the young women in our communities experienced some good old fashion tough parenting in their childhood (and our young women should be equally afraid of such young men).
Can you imagine trying to make a decision about a life partner with no confidence in their childhood experience? What if they never learned to say they were sorry? What if their parents always just "hugged" and "talked" them through life? What if their parents always just gave them what they wanted? You've seen those children that have never learned what "No" means. The risk factor suddenly begins to register incredibly high. If you can imagine this, you're simply seeing Western culture as it really is...with all its poor marriages.
In my Mennonite tradition I feel like young men and women, interested in getting married, still have a good level of confidence in this area. Nine out of ten young people still know what "tough parenting" feels like, but because of over-reaction we might be starting to slip here...who knows.
In our day, the "thunder sticks" may not be the woodshed because of legal reasons. Even if the woodshed becomes obsolete, I am suggesting that we should not throw the "thunder sticks" out. The great thing about the "thunder sticks" is that they are living...they can take on new form and new shape...they can creatively be adapted to our day.
Good luck as you seek divine help in knowing how to use the "thunder sticks" wisely!
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