Malignant Authority Warp (MAW)

bloop....blooop....SPLASH!!!...Thats the sound of Krriptonite finally coming up for air. The last several weeks have been incredibly busy for me, basically turning into a war of priorities. They tell me that a teacher's ultimate call is to convert his students, so that should certainly rank pretty high on the priority list....as I read my BIBLE, higher than blogging:) Note: Krriptonite remains unbiased and neutral on what they tell him.

After a refreshing weekend with my wonderful youth group, which I will most certainly glorify in this post, I have been made aware of a deadly disease whose symptoms may be difficult to spot. I have diagnosed myself with Malignant Authority Warp (MAW). Though it is entirely possible for this disease to progress all the way to the Rubicon, I yet have high hopes for a speedy recovery. This disease is most certainly contagious and will affect ones eyesight quickly following initial contact.

You may ask how I have come down with such a disease. Allow me to explain in very non-medical terms. Pastors, preachers, and teachers (and the sons and daughters of these positions I may add) are especially susceptible to MAW. It is entirely possible to find yourself in positions of authority over and over again....especially if you are one of those who believe that your view point is authoritative even if others would be as base as to disagree with it. As a teacher, I find myself in this position up to 100% of the time. As a Christian, I also find myself in this position up to 100% of the time.

Why is this disease harmful? If one does not accept treatment for the disease the patient may lose all peripheral vision, developing a severe case of tunnel vision. It is entirely possible for a MAW carrier's perspective on reality to be limited to an authoritarian perspective. Through this lens, all of reality can only be seen as something that needs managed, controlled, taught, caressed, or spanked. May I suggest that this is too Godly for two legged homo-sapiens? As an interesting side note, the tower of Babel was built by MAW carriers.

It was absolutely refreshing to simply be one of the youth this weekend. I didn't need to worry about classroom "MANAGEMENT," "CONTROLLING" some steamy 8th grade attitude, "CARESSING" a stifled ego for giving the answer I wanted, or "TEACHING" the world that they're wrong. For once I wasn't looking down on reality from my warped perch of authority. Rather, I felt like I was part of reality again, and it was a healing balm to watch from that perspective again. God....heal me of Malignant Authority Warp!!!!

Gospel Music

I've always been suspicious of much of our gospel music, wondering if there wasn't some telling inherent quality present that could be traced into other genres of music. Why does a diet of gospel music makes me feel like I've just eaten two large bags of jumbo marshmallows? While saying things right, or singing things right I should say, is not all that matters, I have wondered about the methodology found in gospel music. Is "gospel music" really an accurate term for these hymns...or is it simply another juicy conservative term that allows us to work a methodology that really belongs to another genre, even world, into our pristine little hymnbooks?

I don't have answers to these questions, but I have launched out on a personal study, hoping to put to rest my own suspicions. I thought I would share some interesting results of my current study.


If I'm the only one that finds this hilarious...please dont harbor any hard feelings against me. I appreciate the hearts of these people, but honestly...my skin feels like chicken skin after listening to this. Whatever you do....don't watch the drummers face:)


Oh...and pardon me, but....when has country and gospel music lain in the same bed? Hopefully you know who Alan Jackson is...or this wont make any sense to you.


And this beats all...I would suggest not even watching this whole clip...if you see the first 20 seconds you've seen it all....just go trust in Jesus...its a pretty sweet thing to do. I gotta tell ya though...that lady SCARES me!


Carefully read this disclaimer! I DO ENJOY GOSPEL MUSIC IN THE RIGHT PLACE, CONTEXT, AND TIME. I'M OFTEN GAME FOR A ROUSING TUNE OR TWO.

AMERICA....where are you?

A survey of industrialized nations by the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development revealed that Japanese and Koreans sleep the least, while the French spend the most time at both sleeping and eating. [Reuters, 5-4-09]

I would like to point out a well placed word in the above article. Notice the word "time." While Americans spend far less "TIME" eating, the French have sadly fallen light years behind "The Land of the Obese" in the overall intake ratings. Its basically a very old principal put into writing well before the time of our Lord. The basic translation from the original cuneiform tablet found near the presumed site of Babel translates "faster is more."

Meanwhile, unprecedented internet and Television access rolled in a sweet concoction of Caribbean wine batter, has been the guardian angel keeping America from landing the despicable sleep award.